Archive for Habits


Don't let the sun go down on your grievances

There’s a song that I listen to by Daniel Johnston called Don’t let the sun go down on your grievances

Whenever I listen to it, I am reminded of my grandfather, Jesus Gonzales, born 1908. It paraphrases something that he knew, something deep. It was to clear your mind of any toils or stress from the day that just passed you by. Jesus, or Apa, was married to Margarita Gonzales for many, many years, and he rubbed off on more people than I’ll ever know. He was one of the happiest men that I knew, in one of the happiest marriages I will ever know, ever.

He was a simple man who simply loved life. That feeling and mission I can certainly share with him. He told me to never go to bed angry, at anything. This is before computers, before we began to live in a life surrounded by computers and overwhelming days. He was never too busy for anybody, including you and me.

So I paraphrase him, as Apa wouldn’t mind, and say not to let the sun go down on your grievances. Sleep well, tell the one you love that you love them, and breathe in all the we have. Thanks Apa. I miss the days where I would go “fishing” and hunt for the raisins in my Quaker Oats oatmeal.

You knew exactly how to live life, and we all learned from you to pass it on and on.

Don’t let the sun go down own your grievances:

Don’t let the sun go down on your grievances
Respect love of the heart over lust of the flesh
Do yourself a favor: become your own savior
And don’t let the sun go down on your grievances
And when you wake up in the morning
You’ll have a brand new feeling
And you’ll find yourself healing
So don’t let the sun go down on your grievances

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2009 reeks of great potential

Everything is well up here in Worcester, Mass. Had a bit of car troubles to welcome me back but everything is in order again. The walks in the snow are amazing and I’m still not tired of it, even though the cold screwed up my car in the first place, I almost busted my butt plenty of times walking to the store, and it sucked working under my car lying on the ice. But it’s a peaceful time. The calm before the storm, before school starts up.

Katie moves up here in three weeks, and then begins our amazing journey into the future guided by God. I can feel 2009 about to explode with all of the amazing potential energy busting at the seams. I’m so excited for each and every day of it! Always remember to take time to chill out despite the noise going on around you. Sit in the silence, walk around the block, eat dinner with a stranger. Life is good.

And as the above comic shows, most of the time we already know exactly what to do, but we lack the motivation to do so and forget how much daily actions and daily practice counts.

P.S. Kill your television.

Here’s to 2009!

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How to remove yourself and your thoughts from this world

“… and television on all over the place is leading to a steady dumbing
down of the American public and a corrosion of basic critical thinking in the population.”

- Jamie Raskin, American University law professor, November 2004 on the Democracy Now! radio program


Flickr user sandymichelle


Just this past Sunday I had to kill my television – in the best sense of the word. You know: denounce, unrecognize, and the such. It was really stealing away any free (and productive) time that I had. I mean, the idle brain cells spin out of control and zoning out in front of TV after a long day of work leads to: not caring about what you eat, not thinking critically about other great things in the world, not spending ol’ fashioned time with your family or friends. (Lots of great, original articles about Killing Your TV)

I remember about 4 years ago when I came across a similar “Turn Off Your TV” site online in the form of a podcast. And the 2 people were talking on and on about trans fatty acids. I was so compelled as to what they were saying I remember typing as fast as I could to take notes and replaying parts and looking up health terms and the such. Learning. Critical thinking. Sharing. I went on to write an article in the paper at my school and was excitedly telling everyone about my findings. I continued to look up more and more information – I was addicted to knowledge. Just a few minutes ago, I just finished my meal of baked chicken, couscous, and black bean soup with tomatoes, onions, bell peppers, and garlic. And I know that most of that motivation to eat healthy as I do today came from that little audio finding 4 years back. Now it allows me, 4 years later, a chance for me to just sit and enjoy a meal – in peace and quiet – and experience the flavors of life one by one. Hmm, there was life before TV.

I kept running past the idea that parents talk to their kids about 28 minutes a day while the average adult watches 2.5 hours of television per day. Hmm. What are we doing to ourselves? Now, I’m not being anti-fun here, entertainment is great, and I make it through most of my day with a humorous outlook on life. But I see people ignoring food as they eat, sitting silently among family or friends, just gazing. Paying lots of money – to be advertised to constantly and have this machine suck away brain cells.


Flickr user janz87


I also came across someone who said – if aliens came to visit us and checked out the layout of our homes, they would think the television is some sort of god of ours, as our entire houses are arranged around the careful placement of the television set. And then comes the arguments about using a DVR to save time. Of course, it is better than just mindlessly watching channels and surfing without barriers, but there are other ways to go about getting your fix without paying a crapload (ahem). But I can think of many better things to do anyway! I don’t think you’ll lose sleep at night or have regrets on your deathbed – just wondering and wishing that you you had watched more TV.


Flickr user chrisdonia


On another note, it is awesome to see change and progress going on all around the world, from the recent election all the way down to the small world of fire protection engineering. Every time I watch one of the videos about technology and change in this era – I get all giddy and warm on the inside. It’s true.

There’s a giant conversation going on. And it doesn’t depend on power or money or anything. Just a passion – a want. I think of how one person that I know revamped and forever changed the world of fire modeling by utilizing a couple of free tools to bring together thousands of users who were all previously working in dark corners. I think of how a few scratches I made on a notebook one night turned into a tool that hundreds of fire model users use every week – and I think of the next step, and the next, constantly progressing. I think of those that are “too busy” to participate in this movement and think this is only for nerds and computer people – and how bad I want them to participate.

I came to the conclusion that the two ideas I speak about here are interrelated. Apathy and social sloth. Here’s what I think: no one is any more busy than anyone else. Some of us just want something more strongly than others. And that used to be okay, praised even – when the dark corners were predominant. But now, everything is public – the world pushes upon itself.

Don’t be “too busy” watching TV or sitting out on this big movement – wherever you are or whoever you are. This is big. Join in anytime.

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Passionate and Artful Communication in Science

So there are scientists, and there are artful scientists. Here’s version 0.9999 of the graph from my last post in all of its full and smooth glory. It’s for a homework exercise in my combustion course (go ahead, click for full size – it’s fantastic):

Well, why do you care about my graph? I certainly do. There are many books about conveying information in statistics and how to present data in a very informationally dense format, sure. But let’s think about this graph that I made for a homework assignment. The purpose of the homework was for me to learn, yes? And that nice orange line bought me some extra credit worth 25 points, but that’s another story. I want to learn it inside out, run it amongst others, and in the end communicate great things to many, many people. Every time. With every action.

So I could have left the default Excel settings for the chart, but my soul cannot allow such a thing.

This graph shows relationships, it runs a conversation with itself and lets the numbers drive by each other and say hello. It’s living, and it talks to me. Check out the dark red diamond line called “Mixture Fraction”. This guy drives all of the others. Then the f’s come in. Then we go back to the real quantities like the mass fraction of oxygen (Yo) and fuel (Yf) and we can also grab temperature (in Kelvin) based off of what those f’s are telling each other.

Yes, yes, Kris. You are talking nonsense, I don’t like it. Well, perhaps I’m not as eloquent and direct as this guy (watch this great motivating video, do I ever let you down?):

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

But our messages are the same. Do what you love, and work your ass off at it. All the time. Not the old and dead cliched way of “do what you love” – but the minute by minute, day by day, just got home tired from work but I need more, but I don’t have the time, wake up and do it, it keeps you up and night, but I want to watch TV every day, what you REALLY want to do, an exact thing/action/pursuit every day until you die – kind of way.

If I wasn’t here loving my graphs at 2:34 AM in the morning and pondering the million things I just learned from this 4 day exercise, I’d quit. If I doubted for a second (as the guy in the video says), I’d do us all a favor and leave here. But I want this knowledge, and these relationships so very badly. And when the end-result comes along, I have a sick urge to spend so much time and detail on things so that others may benefit. Make your life, thoughts, and business public, and see what happens to it. It skyrockets.

Now do you see why I care about my graph? I’m proud of what it represents. Now go off and care about your own graph. For the rest of us.

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More fire more flames

I just finished the longest problem that I think I’ve ever worked on in my life. It took about 14 hours to complete this one problem in my combustion homework, but damn was it satisfying to finish and solve!


There is a serious amount of knowledge being learned here by all, and it does take time, sure; but it is very satisfying work. I could tell you about all of the above data points and how the mixture fraction of the fuel is a localized and conceptual version of the mass fraction or how the Shvab-Zel’Dovich parameters help to make such analysis possible, but I’ll leave that for you to learn in the combustion class if you take it.

Instead of that kind of talk, I was driven last night to my stove. I often get distracted while reading about fire and start fantasizing of ways that it actually connects to real life – I want to see it. And it just so happened that I was reading about the subject of diffusion flames.

Understandibly, I still have many unanswered questions about the love of my life: fire. Things like why it looks at me how it does with different colors representing how efficient the flame is burning or how much carbon is being produced and thereby how much radiant heat energy is being lost (I’m looking at you, sleek yellowy flame on the left).


So I was led to removing the cover panel on my gas stove last night and equipped only with a wet towel, I wanted some answers right then and there. Long story short, after 30 or so minutes of messing with the disassembled stove at midnight, I had a much better understanding of diffusion vs. premixed flames. For you, just know that there is an amazing amount of philosophy, fire dynamics, and fluid mechanics going on as soon as you turn the knob on your stove to on. Enough there for me to spend my whole life pondering about with passion, even.

In other news, on the opposite of my topic, it is quickly getting cold up here in MA. Tonight it’ll hit around 45 F before the sun peeks around the roof shingles. Life is good. Cool weather, good friends, and lots and lots of dedication to studies. And a bit of fun, come on now.

Well, I’m off for a much needed break. Take over on tackling your passion for me.

Peace.

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A Glance Into the Minds of Care Homes

This summer, I have been working in the sticky Houston heat as a fire alarm and security technician once again, because, well, it pays quite a bit more bucks than UHD did for being a lab assistant. And, thanks to my low income over the years of chasing my passions, I need as much cash as I can get ahold of before the big move in three weeks.

The cool part is that I used to work for the same company for 6 years, so jumping right back into the groove after being away for 22 months took all of half a a day to happen. Most of the customers that I were meeting up by commuting all over the city to I had actually visited years before. And even more odd to me, somehow all of the old knowledge was still stuck in my brain, waiting to be used. I’m talking about weird, minute stuff like remembering city code and station IDs (06 3D) or IP addresses (192.168.1.254) of customers that I hadn’t physically been to in over three years. Oddly intriguing how our brains are wired, isn’t it?.

Well, the focus of this post is to present a glimpse of the diverse set of people, minds, and environments that I run across during the regular work week (and you know how much I like diversity of mental inputs and daily stimulation of the senses).

These particular photos are from an adult care home in southwest Houston, in which this tenant was not present at the time, and I can only imagine what is running through her thoughts these days. The organization of the photos and thoughts seem to reflect raw categorization patterns of the mind. And the daily routine list with 14 steps to follow each and every day make me wonder how Josi is doing with her version of time management and self progression in her own version of the world.

It really serves to remind me that relativism is one of the most important concpets for us to wrap our heads around in the world. Relativism as a basis of thought and experiences makes way for a much better, hands-on understanding of forgiveness, happiness, and it also raises our awareness of expectations in the modern connected world.

Well, enjoy the pictures (link to full album) and take a moment to think of what it would be like to live in this room for years and years to come, with your only possessions being these posters and a toy tool bench set placed in the corner of the otherwise bland, white room.

Your sanity would be optional.

Link to full photo album

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Remove that reading examinee from the airport

It’s interesting how my routines change month by month. I guess that is what is defined by this age range. Movies, programming, motorcycling, science. I just finished the book, The Quarterlife Crisis, and as cheesy as the title sounds, I did get a bit of good stories from it. You may notice how I say stories, and that is what I mean. At this point, after reading way too many psychology books and self-help books, this article really puts it into perspective: http://www.life2point0.com/2006/11/follow_your_bli.html

It’s a long, slimy article, I know. But if you can take time out of your day to read it… well, time out like time out to watch the previous video I posted, you know. Speaking of time, it tends to dilate depending on what you are doing – there is some correlation there based on how uncomfortable I feel before I do something versus how satisfying it is. We humans are built weird like that.

In other news, I took the Fundamentals of Engineering exam on Saturday, and wow. I cannot discuss the questions and stuff there lest NCEES sues me and makes me homeless, but that was the hardest thing that I have taken in my life. It was at the George R. Brown Convention Center with what looked like 800-900 students and, according to the NCEES stats, about 560 future engineers. I would show pictures but any phone or camera device would have you banned from the building and have you $130 lighter for no good reason. Anyway, about the test: this is why you have to kick ass in school, students. The test is the connector to the reality that is real-world problems.

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

Otherwise, I am off to sleep for another night. This week I will be working on a cross-platform launcher for Fire Dynamics Simulator, since the command line scares or hinders our users. In Python, of course. Python and Fortan, the story of my life.

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The clarity of Python vs. the cloud of Perl

I am learning the Python programming language right now, for many reasons. I need to hone in on a language so that I can write up a script in minutes to do pretty much anything that I need. Things ranging from text file processing, web CGI scripting to generate graphs from data, numerical analysis, and so on. This leaves me with a large number of options such as C++, Java, MATLAB, Python, Perl, and others.

While I am not a programming newbie, my skill level sits somewhere in the moderate area as I have been exposed to many different programming languages at the beginner level. So when I look for programming tutorials, it leaves me somewhere between the beginner books and websites that assume that you barely know how to “download your camera to your PC” and the other side of the spectrum of which the tutorial looks about as exciting as a book of log tables:

logTables
(Flickr user quimby)

That being said, that leaves us moderate programmers who want to learn – stuck at a good and bad part of our learning experience. The part where you need to practice about every day writing real-world scripts over and over and over. So, after many weeks of lagging through with Python and putting off script writing, I attacked my first real Python program. It seems really trivial and would probably be one of the first few homework problems assigned in a programming course – but I will document my learning process nonetheless for the other moderate programmers that are out there.

Why Python? I chose Python after dabbling in each language and reading way too much information on each one and finally just trying them out for myself. Which language would be able to match my high-level idealistic mind but still be practical enough to have some power and force behind it? Well, take a look at my example program below. I wanted a program that would take in values from a CSV (comma-separated value) file, loop through a template file, and output new text files with the data from the CSV file’s rows in each output file.

For the more visually oriented:

pythonrep.png

I actually had my roommate last summer help me out with a Perl version of this program, and for comparison, here it is:

#!/usr/bin/perl

if(@ARGV < 2)
{
print "Usage: extractData <csv> <template>\n";
exit;
}</template></csv>

my ($file, $templateFile) = @ARGV;
my $lastTest = "";
my $templateString = `cat $templateFile`;
open DF, "&lt; $file";

while(<df>)
{
my $line = $_;
next unless($line =~ m/(^IT)|(^\,)/);
my ($test, undef, undef, $tray, undef, $cabletype) = split /\,/, $line;
$test = $lastTest if($test eq "");
$test =~ s/IT//g;</df>

$lastTest = $test;

print "test: $test; tray: $tray.\n";

$test = sprintf("%02d", $test);

(my $toPrint = $templateString) =~ s/TEST/$test/g;
$toPrint =~ s/TRAY/$tray/g;
$toPrint =~ s/CABLETYPE/$cabletype/g;

my $outFile = "CAROLFIRE_IT_" . $test . "_Tray_" . $tray . ".fds";

open OF, "&gt; $outFile";
print OF $toPrint;
close OF;
}

close DF;

Then, here is the version that I wrote last night using Python:

"""Module docstring.
Usage: python fdscsv.py <csv> <template> <output>
"""</output></template></csv>

import csv, sys, os, re

arguments = sys.argv
input = csv.reader(open(arguments[1],"r"))
template = open(arguments[2], "r")
lines = template.readlines()
counter = 1

for i, j, k in input:
output = open(arguments[3] + str(counter) + ".fds", "w")
for line in lines:
output.write(line.replace("IREP,JREP,KREP",(str(i) + "," + str(j) + "," + str(k))))
counter += 1
output.close()

Now, I realize that the function of the scripts are slightly different while the primary CSV functionality that I illustrated above still remains. I am not going for a line-by-line comparison here. I do want you to just look over the code and see which one makes more sense to your mind. For me, the Python is so easy to read and almost natural to understand while the Perl takes some serious brainpower for me to decode.In conclusion, I just wanted to show where I am at in learning the Python language. It really is enjoyable at this point for me when compared to learning Perl, which was just painful for me. So I hope to add to the resounding praise of Python by posting these examples for other programmers who may be stuck in the intermediate phase of their learning and need a little push of motivation to continue on.

Finally, if you are interested in what the Python code is actually doing, here is my commented version. Thanks for reading.

"""Module docstring.
Usage: python fdscsv.py <csv> <template> <output>
"""</output></template></csv>

import csv, sys, os, re

# Reads the arguments into a list
arguments = sys.argv

# Reads in the input csv file using the module csv
input = csv.reader(open(arguments[1],"r"))

# Reads in the template file
template = open(arguments[2], "r")

# Splits the template file into lines
lines = template.readlines()

counter = 1

# Labels the columns for the data read from the csv and loops through the lines in the csv
for i, j, k in input:

# Opens a new file with the user-input name plus a counter and an fds extension
output = open(arguments[3] + str(counter) + ".fds", "w")

# Loops through each line in the template file
for line in lines:

# Replaces strings in the template file with numbers from the csv file
output.write(line.replace("IREP,JREP,KREP",(str(i) + "," + str(j) + "," + str(k))))

# Increments the counter for the filename
counter += 1

output.close()

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Updates on welcomed unstability

Been thinking a lot lately. Exerting myself mentally. Not so much physically. But exercising my mind daily is what I love. If it was this “easy” to exercise physically, well, I would be in well shape. But something drives me to work on projects. Some meaningful, some just practicing and moving my brain cells along the line.

So, this is nothing other than an updating type of post, a snapshot of where my neurons are firing.

1) Been actually practicing typing and using Python everyday. Did you know that the language Python was named after Monty Python’s Flying Circus? Neither did I until finally doing the official tutorial. Why am I practicing typing? I have been using computers since I was about 5, and still I cannot proper type. Sort of embarrassing. Not that though. I just want to type about thinking about typing. This post was written without proper typing. I have finally completed the typing tutor deal on my laptop. And now just need the practice part. I can type at 90+ WPM with this improper style, but the memory obstacle is still there.

That moves me on to Python. Why am I learning yet another language? Well, let me clarify. I am not the master of any one language. Python just seems so sensible to me. Good language to finally master. It comes on every Mac and Linux install. It can do all of my automation tasks that I dearly not need waste time on. Filling out FDS files based on numbers in a CSV file. Searching through PDF files for a server. Or making a post-processor for FDS output files. I love the direct-ness of the language. To print something is “print ‘hello world”. And that’s it. No braces, no output specifiers, no weird containing characters, no declarations, and so on.

2) Finished the Four-Hour Work Week. Amazing book. It is the first book that I am going to buy ever since giving away a huge percentage of my books about six months ago. I am now tasked with actually making something tangible that the rest of the world can use (and will pay for). The book is not just a business book, but a book about lifestyle, travel, and the philosophy of modern culture.

I now have to think about what I can provide to benefit masses of people. Perhaps the biggest thinking outside experiment that I have ever done. This can be difficult for my idealistic mind, but is totally possible. Since I retired in the month of August in 2006, this is certainly a key element in keeping myself financially supported – but avoiding the traps of an 80-hour per week self business. I do hope to develop my website with more FDS videos and info. This website or another, I am not sure. Hobby or “business”, I am not yet sure. Time and experiences will tell.

Rack sprinkler

3) Travel. Need more travel and exploring. The above points will actually help with this in my abstract mind.

4) Graduate school politics. My fire science hero has a terrible relationship with my future grad. school advisor, department, and school. Yay. All I want is meaningful work, and I hope that they all understand that. To think that my next two years of work might be thrown away is 1000x times worse than saying I would never be paid for the work. I will do my best, as always. My future advisor posed the question of why should an entity contribute to an open-source worldwide project who did not fund them directly. Why should he post the “results” for free. This violated one of my primary values in life. I immediately thought of Linux, KDE, Google, and tons of other open source projects that were not directly funded by those agencies themselves but have benefited the lives of millions based on contributed work.

Hell, I have been contributing to the FDS project for “free” for the past three years in whatever way that I can, every single day. I would do it for free – because it is one project of many in the world that is meaningful and benefits the world. It even has the bonus of saving lives through better fire protection design. So, I took that comment with a hard heart and looked back on the past 2 years as I have been earning a McDonald’s salary to teach, research, and contribute to a meaningful project. Priorities.

AFD warehouse

To leave on a good note, as I should, I have emailed several contacts around the US and the world about future travel and research opportunities. We will see what happens! Have a fantastic week.

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Walking amidst mind paralysis

I’ve just finished a book entitled The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz. I also copied and highlighted some key parts as I always do with books since I usually borrow them from the library stacks or interlibrary loans. Certain pages of the book spoke right to me and will certainly influence my near and far futures. And I think that from the last chapter mainly, the book will indirectly influence the way that I make decisions, big and small, and with that leave a lasting daily taste in my mouth: a taste of comfort in the overwhelming modern world of information and knowledge.

Unpaved Dock

Here is an excerpt from the middle of the book [emphasis mine]:

“While students at many colleges are happy to discover a subject to study that not only do they enjoy but that will enable them to make a living, many of the students that I teach have multiple interests and capabilities. These students face the task of deciding on the one thing that they want to do more than anything else. Unconstrained by limitations of talent, the world is open to them.
 
Do they exult this opportunity? Not most of the ones I talk to. Instead, they agonize: Between making money and doing something of lasting social value. Between challenging their intellects and exercising their creative impulses. Between work that demands single-mindedness and work that will enable them to lead balanced lives. Between work they can do in a beautifully pastoral location and work that brings them to a bustling city. Between any work at all and further study.
 
With a decision as important as this, they struggle to find the reasons that make one choice stand out above all others.”
 
- The Paradox of Choice – Barry Schwartz

And well: that resounds into the past college years of my life like no other. I like to think of myself proficient in the modern age of time-wasting devices, loads of information, and deceptive items of value. Yet with all of the opportunity laid out before one’s self, we reach a state of bliss and un-motion. This is evidenced by looking back on this very day, a day for me of photographing in a cemetery with a rudimentary understanding of exposures and composition, having a delicious bowl of seafood Pho and wondering how I can make it, wandering about a craft store glaring at the pastels/fancy paper/technical drafting kits, watching a lecture about high performance computing, and finishing off the day by burning a fire model of a church (for research purposes of course).

Life Saver

While I am a big proponent of randomness and a wide range of inputs, I am also a succumber of the pleasures of random input and a productive intake of massive amounts of information. This leaves me feeling adrift in a sea of decisions, which leads to indecision. Luckily, the book that I just mentioned talks of some ideas during the closing chapter. Not solutions, but guides to help you walk across the sea of paralysis. Instead of always looking back and wondering, I just don’t think there is a use in pondering the fourth dimension. Unless, of course, you are also interested in philosophical exercises as one of your too-many hobbies.

Either tonight or tomorrow, I am going to pursue the action of writing a to learn list (see here). Whether or not this will help with the multitude of choice that has materialized in front of me for the past years; I don’t know. But I have a deep and comforting feeling that while it will not make a difference in happiness, it will certainly grow and satiate my soul; and so I share these thoughts with you.

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