And they separated ways into the forest. Who knew which ending he would take? How many choices did he have? Would it be on his own terms? Why don’t we live life on our own terms, anyway? We seem to take this tool called “social” and grant it access to dictate our thoughts, actions, and schedules. Whomever invented this “social” did not mean for it to become this sort of crap festival.

Firstly, one thing he did was to suppress his thoughts until his bladder burst. That was a terrible decision, and he had heard that before. Didn’t make a difference to him. To silence one’s own thoughts is similar to dying. And it just made him more anxious, anyway. Anxious about the whole situation. What is a situation when it changes your whole outlook on life?

He was an experimental guy, so he moved on from this thoughtless stage of mind. Next, he walked for miles, trying to clear his mind. Use separate minds!

While I work the social part of the universe, when I am talking to person A, all thoughts are filtered, targeted, and flowing to that person. This, in turn, makes me the human to person A. Person B comes along, and person A never existed. Think of it as a gutless, more complicated version of his first failed approach of blocking all thoughts. Wait! Did it work? Not this time. He didn’t know, but his heart knew all the time.

Finally, thoroughly frustrated, he tried one last thing before his brain fried. He tried what he thought to be brainwashing himself. Modifying the perspective. He took what most thought to be two entirely different things, like the sun and a small tree, and scrutinized them closel, and he combined them. Mentally. Quickly he switched them back and forth in his mind.

What he found was amazing. Not only was this decision or situation just an answer, but it was a way of life. A way to constant joy. As many places as he wandered in the forest, it all made sense now. Even though the monumental decision existed quietly in his own head, it screamed out from every inch of his soul. He sat by a rock with a busted bladder, and he was that much better for it.

For not settling or tuning out and dying to his life and thoughts. For facing his thoughts in a weird unconventional way. For forcing his mind to think. For not worrying and talking to his family about bills, business, shopping centers, new homes, new cars, new commercials. For taking life into his own terms. That was a huge step. A progressive step, you could say. As you witnessed, the wrong mindful approach to life could have turned our wanderer into a much of unhappiness for life. Instead, he reaches towards and embraces those qualities that set him free. Free to live the best life that he could thanks to thought.

This is an essay that I wrote today, just out of curiosity. I like to write about far-fetched topics that interest me, and here is one that I have been pondering for a few months: touch. Enjoy.

—

My thoughts on human touch range greatly from the idea of chemical reactions occurring in the brain to a simple, yet deep way to connect to other people in the world. There are numerous observations about the way that different cultures deal with touch and interpersonal contact, so I will not repeat them here. In my experience in the US, other than significant others and family members, human contact seems to be becoming a less integral part of communication and interaction between people. This phenomenon seems to stem from a learned discomfort of the senses and a fear of the human body.

When someone invades your personal space, a mixture of negative feelings usually arises such as embarrassment, fear, uncertainty, discomfort, nervousness, anxiety, and raised awareness. I think that these feelings are generated from a higher, unnatural thought process. I will expand upon the act of accidental touching, why we should use touch more, and why we should do away with our uppity disapproval of touch as a means to explore our senses.

Why is this happening? Why can’t we openly touch each other? Living in the scientific age of cutting-edge research and information, we know that human touch and contact release certain pleasurable chemicals in the brain and result in feelings of love, security, and compassion for others. Yet we are overriding these natural feelings with a higher level of consciousness for the sake of withdrawing our true feelings and appearing to be in control of ourselves at all times. Our fear of spontaneous feelings has led us into a sensory deprived universe and is robbing us of one of the most fundamental human qualities: knowing others.

Think about a time where touch with a stranger has led to positive feelings. As you ordered a cup of coffee and the person behind the counter held out their hand to receive your bills or credit card, there was a brief moment of touch. This is done by both parties numerous times a day, and it can be either a robotic exchange of currency or a short moment of instinctual human touch, depending on the thinker or lack thereof. Did this experience make you excited? Or did you even notice it? Is there a proper response to this? This transfer of payment for goods is one of the few remaining yet endangered sensory experiences left in our lifetimes. If there exists a way to beam the cash from our wallet or slide a credit card through a machine, the element of humanness is long gone and is replaced by the cold response of the plastic appliance.

But how much of these phenomena are to blame on technology? What about modern urban and commercialized expansion? Is there a part of the mind that takes this distanced human model and embeds it deeply into the social part of our mind? I feel as though the present expansion and growth occurring across the nation reflect our ongoing disdain for touch and interaction. Sure, there are fake ponds, flashy lights, huge stores, outdoor music, ferryboats, and numerous culturally watered-down restaurants that reflect our affinity for the clean, common, and comfortable environments. And is it wrong that these places usually end up removing as much human from the surroundings as possible?

All of these ideals lead to the disbanding of close communities in my eyes. And everyone seems to accept this new-age humanless way of living. I sure don’t. But what can I do about it? I can actively seek community and closeness in everything I do, from academics to hobbies to sports. Granted, you probably won’t be able to reach out and touch those who are deep in the manufactured home farms surrounded by strip malls, but there are still many areas in the cities that retain and promote culture, community, and the human part of being alive.

Whether it is a small concert, art show, or any type of event or gathering, the people there are all searching for some experience. For me, one of the things I am doing is simply searching for other humanly people. People with ideas, motivations, and a certain quirkiness. And not necessarily limited to any or all of those traits. These qualities come naturally to those who acknowledge their human nature and appreciate its response to the natural world.

The subject of physical contact is a broad one at that, and I am not confining my thoughts to exchanging money, holding hands, or sexual contact. Massages, handshakes, hugs, kisses, and bundling are all an excellent utilization of our natural sense of touch and our physiological sense of being. This is not confined to the opposite sex either. As I said earlier, hundreds of cultures around the world treat touch differently. Some countries kiss on the cheek as a greeting, some hold hands and wrap an arm around each other when walking – even, gasp, persons of the same sex. I do not think that this will ever happen in the US, nor is there a need for a universal minimum standard of touching to happen for me to be happy. Maybe these ideas are just coming from my quirky and experimental mind. All I think that we are seeking is a way to be happy and a way to be human, and in the current direction that we are heading, we don’t even know what that really means anymore. To be human.

Where is halfway on this never-ending journey? Nonetheless, I have about five weeks left here, and if they were anywhere as amazing as the first half of my time here, well then this exceeded my expectations by about 482,000%.

The things I have learned pertinent to my studies have been astounding, but there has been so much more. Friendships, community, and resources that I can never forget.

Oh, in case you haven’t seen, here is a picture I took here a few weeks ago when walking home from the bowling alley on a rainy day:

The weekend has been good so far, very relaxing after a busy week at work. Well, busy bursts of work.

Finally, of all things that I have learned here, I have learned that I do not think that I would like to be a pure researcher. I don’t think that it would be for me to work at NIST. Granted, I am working with the people who do research and development on the number one project in my life, but I feel like my job is to teach. The life of a professor seems much more fulfilling to me.

Not to say that the summer is wasted, at all. I learned more about Fire Dynamics Simulator and fire research than I would have in years without working this fellowship. I just want to share the ideal that sometimes experiences will let you know what you don’t want to end up doing in life, and that is just as valuable as anything. I love experiences.

This has certainly been a life changing summer and a great part of my life so far, and considering the short length of time, I’d say that is pretty amazing. Time that would have otherwise flown by at home and dissolved into daily routines and overlookings.